


Out With It!

by ladyinquinnsitor



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Confession, F/M, Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 10:54:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3567050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyinquinnsitor/pseuds/ladyinquinnsitor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things get heated when the Inquisitor decides not to let Cullen face a certain red templar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out With It!

“You have no right!” Cullen shouted across the room, his fist striking the desk with a harsh thud.

“I have _every_ right! Or have you already forgotten that you are one of the very people who put me in this position? I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask to lead the Inquisition,” she yelled back, her eyes narrowed as she took a step toward him.

“And I've never regretted that decision... _before,_ ” the last part he muttered under his breath.

“Do you have something you'd like to say Commander? Well...? Out with it then!” 

He watched the mark on her hand flicker through the cracks of her tightly clamped fingers. “I... I just don't know what I could have done to deserve your disapproval? Is this... is it because I'm a templar? ”

“Maker, Cullen! You think that's what this is about?” Nerys replied, shaking her head. “You think I resent you because you're a templar? _Were_ a templar? You believe that's why I took you off the mission? I thought you knew me better than that...” She averted her gaze and began to move away from him toward one of the bookcases in the corner.

"I thought perhaps I did, but now I'm not so sure. You know what Samson means to me, I should be there, with you.” _What is wrong with me, this is ridiculous._

She stopped walking, instead shifting her weight back and forth from her her heels to her toes. He watched her shoulders fall and the death grip relax from her hands. “Cullen,”she sighed, “I am not displeased with you. I suppose... I'm just worried.”

“Worried?” He wanted to kick himself, his tone had been out of line. He did not mean to impute bad motive. In truth, it was his own insecurities as a former templar that caused him to lash out. He always feared that it bothered her more than she let on. How could it not? “Nerys, I'm sorry...”

“Don't. I shouldn't have let my own feelings impact my judgement the way that they did, you deserve to be there.”

“I'm not sure I understand.” 

She turned toward him, rubbing her forehead awkwardly. “Is it so hard to see? I thought I'd been painfully obvious. All of those stolen kisses, the weekly chess games. Cullen... I care for you. So much that sometimes it scares me. Clearly it's beginning to impact my ability to think objectively.”

 _Maker._ He had been so wrapped up in his loathing for Samson that he failed to see the position he had put her in. If the roles had been reversed, he knew he would do anything to avoid sending her to face a maniac like that. Of course Cullen knew what the sideways glances, the late night chats, the post war counsel one-on-ones had meant to him, but he had never allowed himself to seriously entertain the thought that they meant just as much to her. 

“I shouldn't have doubted you," she said. "I know how terrible the lyrium withdrawals have been, I guess I was just worried that seeing Samson may compromise you emotionally, that you would be vulnerable. I couldn't bear if something were to happen to you, I would rather you hate me and know you still draw breath than live knowing that maybe I could have...that is, if you...” she shook her head. “It doesn't matter, I was being selfish, I see that now.”

He moved to close the space between them, the room was suddenly unbearably hot. He tugged at the neck of his undercoat. “Nerys, I can be a royal ass, you must know that by now. My past... it hangs over me. Sometimes it gets the better of me... the things I did as a templar, I thought maybe you questioned my loyalty. Held it against me. That maybe you worried I would be susceptible to Samson's ravings, abandon the Inquisition. It's not so far-fetched is it? Maybe the lyrium buried deep within me _would_ put me at greater risk... I don't know. I suppose it scares me too.” He reached out, grasping both of her hands. “It never even occurred to me that you worried about losing me as a person, as a Commander sure, as an advisor maybe... but as something more. Until now I had only hoped.” 

“You did hope? So I haven't just been embarrassing myself here.”

“No, quite the contrary. It is I who am embarrassed, I can't believe I yelled at you like that. It's completely unacceptable. Although I must admit... the glint in your eye when you let me have it, your posture when you get defensive. It is rather... _striking_.”

“Oh is it really now?” She said, playfully pushing at his shoulder. “Well, let's not make a habit of it, ok?”

“Well... I will _try_ to behave,” he said with a devilish one-sided grin. Cullen wrapped his arms around her waist, settling his hands into the small of her back. “So the noble Nerys Trevelyan, leader of the Inquisition was worried she would miss me? Huh.” He chuckled. 

“Yes, yes, get it all out now,” she blushed. 

His face softened as he took a more somber tone, “I understand you know. Ever since Haven... I know the day will come where he will threaten to take you from me again. I have been trying to muster the strength to see you go, but every time you walk through those gates... you leave with a piece of me. That's why I have to come with you, Samson is no Corypheus, but I must stand beside you.”

“I know, and so you will.”

He shivered as she ran a hand down the back of his neck, her lips met his firmly. He closed his eyes, remembering the first time they had snuck out onto the battlements. He loved that every time they kissed it felt like a new experience, he remembered her scent, her taste, but she always found a way to surprise him. With her teeth, her tongue, the way she pulled at his hair. He wondered if he would ever get to used to her. He wanted to try.


End file.
